Lost
by brandonstaark
Summary: Rose did not know if she liked the dish of fate that was served to her the second time she found herself on Bad Wolf Bay, but it was better than going hungry...


**Ten/Rose fanfiction with a hint of ****_Game of Thrones- "if I look back I am lost."_**

**I do not own doctor who yadayada but I wish I did**

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It had been 10 years since the other doctor left them on bad wolf bay, hand in hand. She could remember it as clear as the day she met him, when she was just another ignorant girl who lived in a counsel estate working in a shopping centre. After he told her to run, (he had another face then) her life changed. _If I look back I am lost._

They stood there as they watched the tardis disappear. He left with Donna. But she tried not to feel the twisting pain of jealousy in her stomach as she did when she heard of them travelling together. He had travelled with others since they were separated; he was off in a parallel universe having adventures with other eager companions wanting to see the world, naive to the dangers outside their home planet Earth. But she never expected him to travel alone. She did not wish for him to spend the rest of his life (gods know how long that would be) alone drowning in the remorse of no longer having her by his side. It was okay for her; she would not live half as long as he would. _If I look back I am lost._

But neither did she expect to watch the Doctor leave her again, _whilst _she held his hand. Well, it wasn't _him _as much as it was him. And it confused her because she loved the Doctor that flew away in his tardis, and it was the Doctor that stood next to her, with such love and pain in his eyes. _He was born in war but he is home now, and I am too. _And she tried to feel that sense of security and relief with her Doctor, a small part of her whispered _it's not the same it never will be._ He was the same he had the same memories, the same feeling, and was just that little bit more sharp than he was before. And if, perchance she did not remember the other Doctor leaving, she could be truly comforted. Because now he would be travelling alone (since Donna was condemned to forgetting all her adventures, for that Rose pitied her, at least _Rose _still had _her_ memories.) and she could settle but never comfort the other Doctor like her Doctor comforted her. _If I look back I am lost._

For a while rose and her Doctor sat on bad wolf bay. It was nice and for the first time in her life (since the other Doctor; what she was or did before him; she was certain that she was not living,) she felt like, sitting there looking, towards the spot the tardis had once been with her Doctor's arms wrapped round her, was just as good as all those adventures she survived with the other Doctor, in the other universe. _If I look back I am lost._

"What do we do now?" he asked, his voice soft, he was only created less than a day ago, Rose knew how young he was, but his memories were near a thousand years old. He knew what she'd been through and Rose swore she could see sympathy in his warm, brown eyes. _If I look back I am lost._

She didn't want him to feel like that; like he was second best. No, that would not do, he was _her_ doctor and she would never let him out her sight like she did with the other Doctor. He was the best this she ever had because as much as she loved the rush of adrenaline she got every time they opened the tardis doors to a new planet, settling down with _her_ doctor was better than any other rush of adrenaline or the dreams of finding a new undiscovered planet. This is what she wanted. _If I look back I am lost._

She replied with a kiss. She had only ever kissed the doctor a few times; she could not remember the first, he had been the heart of the tardis then, but the other Doctor told her after with his new face smiling, and they laughed about it, but she hid the hunger she felt for him. _If I look back I am lost._

The kiss was sweet and long, just the pressure of his lips against hers, their mouths fit the others perfectly. Rose could not say how long they stayed like that, in each others' arms but soon enough the memories of her past came back... _wait, _their _past, he was there as well, or at least his memories were. _So their kiss broke apart and she rested her head against his chest and he pressed his face in her hair. She squeezed her eyes closed. _This is what I want. If I look back I am lost._

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**I would love to hear reviews of what you readers think, and if I should continue it with a clear story line or if I should just leave it as a one-shot for closure. Let me know!**


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